The Wedding Party. Let the games begin!

Where my girls at?!

God I hated this bit. In fact, if I could go back in time and do it again, I'd do it much much later than I did. Don't get me wrong, my bridesmaids are the best girls I know and I would still absolutely choose them again but holy shit, the pressure!

If you are a social person with lots of close friends and a large ceremony, this bit should be easy for you. If not and like me, you prefer being in a quiet room with a good book and you know a few select people that don't piss you off... then this is a little harder. I struggled because I have more close friends than I wanted bridesmaids. My maid of honour was always going to be my little sister (she's thirteen and an absolute boss.) No question about it. But I only really wanted three. I started with five and ended with four. I'm so good at this haha.

The problem I had was that I asked my bridesmaids too early. I hadn't even set the date or done any research so at the beginning of my planning, we were five bridesmaids in. By the time the date and the venue were booked, we'd planned for the tiny intimate ceremony of thirty people or less (in three months time! Eek!) and that included the five bridesmaids and their respective partners. That's ten people down! Slightly worrying.

The other issue was that I didn't explain what was expected of them. I didn't think it through. Which is why, six months in I get a call from the M. I. A bridesmaid cancelling on me. She was struggling to juggle stresses in her life alongside the pressures of planning hen nights, dress shopping, hair ideas and all the countless other things we were trying to schedule in. Retrospectively, I should have sat them all down and explained the duties to them so they could decide for themselves whether they wanted this high pressured job. Believe me, however stressful you think planning a wedding is, imagine the pressure of ensuring that your friend gets the best send off she possibly can, knowing she only gets one shot at this whilst trying to work within a circle of people you may only know by name. (I know this as I am maid of honour for my wonderful friend Gemma next year and I'm already trying to get on top of it).
Do your girls a favour, explain the duties. They'll thank you for it. To my girls reading this, I'm sorry I didn't do this. I should have. Also, by God you girls are amazing! I love you.

So here was a question I had (and I know other brides who had the same question) what do you do if you have a bridesmaid who isn't pulling her weight or quite frankly, you don't want as a bridesmaid anymore?
The answer? Honesty. Yep, it sucks. But my advice is to be honest with her and communicate your feelings. If she's not pulling her weight there is a reason why and it isn't (unless you chose poorly) because she doesn't want to do it. Remember that your girls have lives and that sometimes life likes to kick you in the crotch. You'll both feel better once you've spoken about it.

Have fun choosing your girls and I hope that you can learn from my mistakes. Choose wisely, these girls are going to be the ones helping you pee on the night. Friends who pee together stay together! Hahaha!

Feel free to put any other questions in the comments section. Whether you are a bride, groom, maid of honour, man of honour, bridesmaid or groomsman, I will do my best to help you out.

I will do another post on the duties of each wedding party member with a focus on who should be maid of honour/best man. It's a tough gig but someone's got to do it! See you soon! xx